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Letterman

David Letterman
November 2, 1995

Dave: You've got, like, an outfit on, huh? (talking to Claire offstage)
Claire: I got it for you.
Dave: It's wonderful; is it new? You bought it for the show? (speaking to Claire off stage)
Claire: Well, you know...
Dave: Well that's very nice, very thoughtful, I appreciate that. Thank you very much. Alright.
Dave: Folks, there is no more engaging actress in the world, than our next guest. She started in the critically acclaimed television program "My So-Called Life".
Dave: (yelling to Claire off stage) IS THAT STILL ON?
Claire: (offstage) No it's not.
Dave: What the hell happened to that?
Claire: It was cancelled.
Dave: Well if you'd think about a new outfit it would still be on. (boo's & moans)
Dave: Fine, get it out of your systems. I know where you live, I'm following you home. (laughter)
Dave: She also has a brand new movie, called "Home for the Holidays". Ladies & gentlemen here she is now, the charming, the fetching, the engaging, Claire Danes...Claire...
(Band is playing "On a Clear Day you can see Forever")
(Claire walks out & shakes Dave's hand)
(much applause)
Dave: Thank you very much for coming back to the show. Let me clear up one thing. And forgive me if I have misspoken on your behalf. I referred to you as a woman and I said perhaps she's not really a woman. You're 16 years old.
Claire: I guess I'm a teenager.
Dave: You are a teenager...and could we also say a young woman or not yet a young woman?
Claire: I'm a woman on the...a girl on the brink of womanhood.
Dave: Oh great. Well I hope it happens here tonight! (applause & laughter) (Claire beginning to blush)
Dave: I don't know what that means. I'm sorry, forgive me.
Claire: Well I'm following the women of all women. Cindy Crawford.
Dave: She's nice isn't she. Lovely.
Claire: She is...well I just met her backstage, and she's...very warm. And she has a beautiful mole.
Dave: Yeah.
Claire: I actually,...(short pause) I have a zit tonight. She gets a mole I have a zit.
Dave: That's something.
Claire: And that's what being an adolescent is all about
Dave: That could be your hook. You got a thing there. You've got to blemish it. You've got to have a hook. (laughter)
Claire: They covered it up very well.
Dave: Thank you very much for coming back, many of our guests don't return. They get irritated and don't come back. And I'm happy that you've come back, cause I'm very, very fond of you.
Claire: Well thank you, and I of you.
Dave: Bless your heart. Tell us a little about yourself. How are things going now?
Claire: Things are going pretty well. I just finished doing a movie, so I've popped back into the real world for a...
Dave: "Home for the Holidays"?
Claire: No, no no...Actually another one. But but ah...I'm going to the premiere of "Home for the Holidays" tonight, so...I haven't seen it yet.
Dave: This is the one directed by...uh Nell,...Nell,...Jodie Foster.
Claire: Jodie Foster.
Dave: Jodie Foster.
Claire: She's a woman.
Dave: A woman, of course she's a woman. And it's you and Holly Hunter.
Claire: Yes
Dave: I think that's a great combination, a very nice piece of casting.
Claire: It was very cool to work with those people. I actually don't have too too much to do in the movie, but I just was very excited to be with those...those gals.
Dave: And you just finished another movie, so I'm thinking to myself, you're 16 are you going to school ? Do you have school ?
Claire: I go to school when I'm not shooting.
Dave: But is it one of those bogus showbiz tutor kind of things?
Claire: No actually, no I go to school in L.A. called Lycee Francaise. It's a private school.
Dave: OH...
Claire: Jodie Foster went to that school...
Dave: ...excuse me...
Dave: What is the name of the school ?
Claire: Lycee Francaise...de Los Angeles...
Dave: Parlez-vous francias...
Claire: No...There's an English section to it. Which I go to.
Dave: But you're only there, like 2 or 3 days a month right ?
Claire: Well, I'll be back for 3 days...then I'm going to go off and shoot Romeo & Juliet
Dave: My goodness!!! Claire, Claire...Now you're...
Claire: No wonder I'm getting zits, I'm stressed out !!
Dave: Your childhood is slipping by you.
Claire: No, no no...
Dave: Do you have time to be a goofball?
Claire: Well, I need time to turn into that woman.
Dave: Do you ever go to the mall and play video games all day?
Claire: Uhh...no.
Dave: I do.
Claire: You do? (Dave laughs) (applause)
Dave: Oh my gosh...
Dave: How's your boyfriend? Do you have a boyfriend?
Claire: My boyfriend is great. I haven't seen him in so long. I've been working.
Dave: What's his name?
Claire: Andrew, Andrew Dorff.
Dave: He's a musician right?
Claire: He's a musician.
Dave: Weren't you for a while, and this concerned me desperately, you were dating a guy who was, like, a thief or something?
Claire: Oh no. That's from my past. A shady area in my life.
Dave: But he would steal things.
Claire: He was from Staton Island. Yes, I found out, he was a rather heavy klepto.
Dave: Heavy klepto. It's a great band. They are on tomarrow night, aren't they Paul? Heavy Klepto. We're trying to book them now. They're from Seattle. They are very, very good.
Claire: No, we'd go into stores, and every time we'd leave he'd have a present for me.
Dave: (laughs)
Claire: And I got a little suspicious after a while. Because they were never wrapped.
Dave: Did you get some good stuff though?
Claire: You know, I got a phone that lit up.
Dave:(laughs) This guy is pretty good if he's stealing phones.
Claire: Yeah you press a button and it played, like, Christmas carols.
Dave: Nice. But your current boyfriend is a decent guy right? He's a musician?
Claire: Yes. He's a solid, smart, warm...person.
Dave: How old is he?
Claire: He's...he's still 18.
Dave: To me this is a wonderful thing. You're 16 your boyfriend is 18. That's nice. I think that's cute, everything is going nice for you.
Claire: Yeah.
Dave: You want to stay around for UB-40?
Claire: Oh, oh, for sure...
Dave: Alright, stay there. We've got to do a commercial, we'll be right back with UB-40. (commercial)
Dave:Alright Claire do you want to do this. Do you like UB-40?
Claire: Oh sure.
Dave: I tell you what, when we're done with the introduction I'll give you this CD. (Claire is grabbing for the UB-40 CD)
Dave: Ahhhh...(moving the CD out of Claire's reach)
Dave: You want to read the cards there? It'll be fun for you.
Claire: Oh, ok. Well, our next guests are a wonderful reggae band who sold over 33 albums world wide. (much laughter) (buzzer buzes, as in wrong answer)
Dave: WOW...wow, you guys are good!! 33 albums!! We're lucky to have them on tonight.
Claire: No, no, 33 hundred...no 33 million albums worldwide. (bell dings, as in correct answer)
Dave: That's right. (applause)
Claire: Please welcome, UB-40.
Dave:YEAH!!!

Originally transcribed by: gregpd@aol.com

© CBS 1995